


the fluff carnival (a crack festival)

by Parfaiti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: "parfaiti & co is not liable for any diabetes and hysteria caused by overly sweet content", Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Voldemort POV, are you interested yet after reading these tags, but he's secretly wrapped around harry's finger, copious amounts of fluff and crack - read at own risk, harry's birthday though so that excuses it, he's totally soft for harry but he tries to act like he isn't, maybe the archive warning should be:, plot bunnies being sold, spread the word: voldemort cheats at carnival games, there is just one small kinda serious moment but it's v v sweet, voldemort in neon heart-shaped sunglasses, voldemort on helium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23262145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parfaiti/pseuds/Parfaiti
Summary: It was an ad for some sort of carnival, bright pastel color adorning the poster in forms of clouds of cotton candy, ferris wheels, and balloons. ‘The Fluff Carnival! Embrace your love of fluff!” it read in big chunky letters. ‘Parfaiti & Co. is not liable for any diabetes and hysteria caused by overly sweet content’ was written in small blocky print under the bright title.Voldemort takes Harry out to carnival for his lover's birthday. Chaos reigns.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Voldemort
Comments: 13
Kudos: 82





	the fluff carnival (a crack festival)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BbyPonyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BbyPonyo/gifts).



> I sincerely apologize for what you're about to read,,, if you haven't read crack before, then this will absolutely open your eyes and sCaRe yOU aWaY.
> 
> haha jkjk,,, please stay and read-

Voldemort looked at the disgustingly cheerful sign in front of him and groaned, clutching his head. Brightness never failed to make his head hurt, and this- this monstrosity was downright burning his eyes.

The sign arching above them was horrendous, an insult to the universe it existed in. Voldemort squinted at the camera Harry had handed him, trying to figure out the inner workings of the complicated machinery. He’d never been interested in photography, but now the thought of having to never be reminded of this tragic day every again won against the pitiful sight of Lord Voldemort fiddling with a tiny camera, wincing when a bright flash nearly destroyed his sight.

FLUFF CARNIVAL! The sign practically blared out, flashing neon lights, letters changing in the colors of the rainbow. Emojis like smiley faces and unicorns adorned the letters, and vines full of bright flowers twisted around the bottom of the poles.

-

See, a few weeks ago he’d had the brilliant idea of taking his lover out for his birthday, and while Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter were walking back from their monthly tea / coffee date in a quaint little muggle cafe (to avoid the nosy little shits of the wizarding world, of course; no, he did _not_ use to dream of going to such a place when he was young), a neon flash caught Harry’s eyes. Harry’d tugged on their interlocked hands excitedly, drawing to The Poster. At that time, he didn’t know it would take him to the disaster he was in today, and Voldemort decided to indulge Harry by reading what had captured his interest so quickly.

It was an ad for some sort of carnival, bright pastel color adorning the poster in forms of clouds of cotton candy, ferris wheels, and balloons. ‘The Fluff Carnival! Embrace your love of fluff!” it read in big chunky letters. ‘Parfaiti & Co. is not liable for any diabetes and hysteria caused by overly sweet content’ was written in small blocky print under the bright title, but Voldemort promptly disregarded that. He snuck a glance to the wizard practically bouncing up and down to the right of him, considering. Well, if it really made Harry that happy… Merlin knows Voldemort hadn’t indulged him in a while, what with taking over the world and all.

-

In hindsight, it wouldn’t really be the first time Harry’s bright smile had made him, somehow, mysteriously pilant to whatever he was originally adverse to.

The days leading up to the event were hectic, with Voldemort switching between making sure that Bellatrix wouldn’t “accidentally” kill, maim, and / or torture anyone (Voldemort was forced to play therapist to several tramuatized Death Eaters’ spawns to sooth Harry’s _feeeelings_ for the _poor little kids_ once), confisticating Lucius’s mountain of bottles of conditioner (the man was going to be busy helping him run the wizarding world, for Merlin’s sake, he couldn’t spend all his time paying attention to his hair), and pour the disgustingly sunshine-yellow Euphoria Elixir into Snape’s tea leaves to prevent angst sessions when Severus was needed to provide much needed common sense amongst his Death Eaters.

Voldemort had already consented to go to such an obviously horrible place, but to add insult to injury, Harry insisted on choosing his outfit. 

Of course, Lord Voldemort could never agree to that, but he didn’t put up as much of a fight as he should’ve when Harry said he’d pick accessories. One of the essential rules in his handy handbook **TM** , Dark Lording 101, a few rows under the first rule of having to follow @darklord_voldymorts on Instagram and the other important rule of needing Rest and BeS Sleepsies to be a Gud Dark Lord, was to always follow the Dark Lord Aesthetic and go out in fashion while simultaneously scaring the shit out of others. Harry… did not seem to get it. The feared, almighty Dark Lord Voldemort was now sporting a pair of pink-tinted, neon yellow framed sunglasses. Heart-shaped sunglasses.

He scowled. He couldn’t even terrify muggles with his red slitted eyes now! What would joy in life be, aside from being able to case hysterical panic attacks in others? It was official; Lord Voldemort was ruined. He was going to be ridiculed in these hideous sunglasses.

Sadly, his brooding session was disrupted by the squeal of his lover.

Voldemort looked over, trying to maintain his fearsome, not noticing how his gaze softened when gazing at the excited wizard.

“They have _helium_ balloons!” Voldemort had heard of the effect helium would have on a human being’s voice, and while one could achieve a high-pitched voice with multiple charms he could already come up with on the top of his head, Voldemort couldn’t help but wonder if helium was already affecting Harry, what with the way he squeaked at the end of the sentences. Like an annoying little pest, he sneered.

He wisely kept that to the confines of his own mind. Harry Potter angry was a sight nobody would want to witness, though his eyes _did_ flash oh _so_ prettily when he got all fired up.

-

Voldemort regretted keeping it to himself. Harry had practically forced him to inhale a few thousand balloons’ worth of heliums. They weren’t even suitably plain balloons, either, no. Voldemort had to inhale gas from balloons featuring words like LOVE, designs of My Little Pony and Frozen, and even a bunny-shaped balloon.

“I will end you,” Voldemort screeched shrilly, red eyes flashing through, clashing with the ridiculously neon heart-shaped sunglasses, reminding one of an atrociously dressed snake-chipmunk hybrid. He sounded like a toddler trying to imitate a Dark Lord.

Harry aww’d at him, practically melting on the spot. Voldemort should have at least jinxed him, the impudent brat. But, well. That look of adoration on Harry’s face was quite nice.

-

They were once again walking peacefully, and Voldemort had almost gotten used to holding his lovers hand while striding under the sun when-

“OH MY GOSH IT’S BABY PONYO!” Harry screamed, his eyes lighting up yet _again_. Voldemort wondered if they were powered by endless batteries, complete with an on-off switch inside the clearly insane wizard’s mess of a brain.

Voldemort eyed the doll Harry ran off to skeptically; it looked like a tiny Weasley minus freckles, dressed like a mix between a Dementor and Cornwallis (the leader of the lobsters) with a tutu for the idiotic muggle holiday Halloween. He continued staring at it, trying to come up with more insults to the stuffed toy, but it… was… admittedly cute. Damn. He was going soft. Voldemort made a note in the back of his head about improving snide remarks. 

He glanced up at the name of the game stall Harry was now at. Balloon POP!

… Really?

-

Ten minutes later saw Harry snuggling into Voldemort’s side for comfort as he pouted about not being able to get the dolls he wanted. Voldemort’s gaze slid to Harry cocooned against his side, and made a choice. He put 10 pounds on the table, sliding it over and exchanging it for ten plastic darts.

Sighing, he threw them and easily popped the balloons from a far distance, winning five of the Ponyo toys. Harry perked up instantaneously, beaming.

If he had used magic wandlessly to create just the slightest bit of breeze during the hot summer day… well, muggles were ignorant, weren’t they? 

-

Harry tugged at his sleeve.

Voldemort sighed, and, gritting his teeth, turned. 

“They have a Fluff Station there,” Harry hesitated and made puppy eyes at Voldemort. “Just one last stop, and then we’ll head home?”

“Those eyes don’t work on me,” Voldemort snapped harshly. 

-

They did.

-

Voldemort very carefully bit into the white puff of sugared air, also known as cotton candy, and looked at Harry, eating his own pink cloud of sweetness.

Harry waved him over, and he strode over to see… bunnies. Fluffy bunnies were sitting there. Some were chaotic, some sitting as if in some Bunny Council of sorts… were some weeping in the corner?

Harry picked up one of the fluffiest bunnies, squealing. “I want this one!”

The seller slid over, smiling at Harry’s enthusiasm. “Good choice, sir,” she said, smacking her pink bubblegum. “Just would like to say before you buy that plot bunny that it’s a full on Crack bunny, though you would find that most of the Crack bunnies tend to be the fluffiest. However, your friend over there,” she gestured at Voldemort, “seems like he would prefer Angst bunnies, but those aren’t very fluffy, except for maybe the Hurt and Comfort types of Angst.”

-

They took the Crack bunny, Voldemort eyeing it cautiously every few seconds, watching it squeak, change colors, expand in size, and dart around all in the matter of seconds.

The gate was right before them, and Voldemort looked back, ready to speed up- he stopped walking. Harry tilted his head, questioning.

Voldemort smirked just slightly. “You’ve got a little something stuck there,” he murmured, and before Harry could ask for clarification, pulled Harry towards him and kissed away the remains of cotton candy lingering on the edges of his lips.

Harry muttered something indiscernible, sighing happily as he adjusted his position, wrapping himself against the Dark Lord.

The Crack bunny looked up at them, nose twitching happily.

-

They walked back home in silence, happy to enjoy the feeling of being stuffed on soda, candy, and happiness.

“I've… always wanted to go to things like this,” Harry admitted hesitantly. Voldemort froze, not expecting such straightforward sincerity after a day of light-hearted fun. “Dudley- Dudley would come home sometimes after a day spent at the Spring Fair, and he'd brag about all the fun he'd had, with bits of candy stuck to his cheek and bags of plastic toys carried by Uncle Vernon. This sounds pathetic, but a place like this was just- I've always wanted to just, I don't know, spend time with someone I,” Harry broke off, eyes darting around. “Someone I love… at a place like that… 

just like today.”

Voldemort stiffened. 

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, and then his slitted gaze softened just the littlest bit. “Let's go home,” he murmured, carrying bags of pastel and neon toys, a bunny hopping behind them.

-

Little kids on the street stopped and stared at the Weird Bald Santa in a Black Dress.

**Author's Note:**

> obviously,,, i couldn't have ended it on that sweet note. nOpE, just really had to ruin the mood and add in that part about bald santa in a black dress- i had to do it i swear.
> 
> did i scroll through countless messages just to make references? yes, I did.
> 
> i- can i just say that i'm so glad that i finally finished this? i'm a horrible friend, and this is so late but: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope this cracky harrymort fluff made up for the lateness? thank you so much- for being my friend, for being so sweet, and ohmigosh i hate time zones and i miss you- uwu love you !!! *have some love and affection*
> 
> well, now that I'm done with this, i can finally go and read some other fics,,,, and leave long comments on my friends' fics. if you're reading this and know i'm talking to you- sorryi'mworkingoniti'msosorry:(
> 
> and um- yall imma plug my tomarrymort instagram: go follow @ tomarrytextposts on instagram aHAHA-


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